Anxiety is probably the most common complaint of individuals seeking therapy in my practice.  In one form or another, it cuts across nearly every problem and issue that comes through the door.  Using Schema Therapy, we can discover more about what has made the individual regularly experience anxiety, what has made it their default position.  The origin is often seemingly unconnected with present day concerns.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is the expression of fear, triggered by a perceived threat to life, safety, security, or sense of wellbeing.   Anxiety is a necessary function for survival and is instinctive.  However, for many of us, the part of the brain which acts upon perceived threats, the amygdala, is doing its job too well and perceiving as threat, events or situations which are no longer, or have never been, a threat.

An example: Many of us fear going to social events.  When asked what do we fear, we cannot say.  In my experience most people when pressed will admit they fear embarrassment.   What is dangerous about embarrassment?  Is it the fear of being shunned by the community, which would have been a risk to safety for our early ancestors?

Anxiety is experienced both psychologically and physically, and manifests in many ways, such as recurring worry and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, muscle tension, (for example clenched jaw, hunched shoulders), which can lead to discomfort and pain; digestive problems of all sorts; brain fog or freeze.  These, and many more variables, lead to more worry and more anxiety about physical and mental health.

I wrote above nearly, because when an individual who is distressed enough to seek therapy, says that they do not experience anxiety, it can often mean they attribute physical symptoms to something else (and it could well be something else), they avoid negative emotions by adopting “coping modes” such as over-eating, drinking alcohol or using drugs.  They protect themselves from painful feelings by mentally detaching from them, going into “detached protector” mode.  Many of us spend much of our life in this mode, and it may be highly functional - but ultimately, we are not addressing what troubles us beneath the surface.

How can it be managed?

There are numerous ways to manage anxiety in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Grounding and Breathing techniques, Graded Exposure, Cognitive Restructuring, Cognitive De-fusion and Mindfulness – all great ways to successfully manage anxiety, all of which I use regularly with my clients – but I wonder if they are ways, in popular parlance, to ‘kick the can down the road’?  To do things that prove the anxiety is not there (fight), or avoid it (flight).  The anxiety will inevitably return when the original source of fear is re-triggered.

What is the original source of the fear?

In our early years, we have certain needs to be met by our caregivers.  Those needs being met, allows our sense of safety, security and wellbeing to grow for healthy development.  Where some or all of those needs are not met, the sense of fear (eg of abandonment, vulnerability, or not being ‘good enough’) becomes embedded in the part of the brain that manages fear and other survival instincts.  It is known as the Amygdala.  Whilst that “Schema”, the unconscious and deeply embedded negative feeling can be avoided or compensated for over long periods, it will be re-triggered in certain situations, for example, a partner becoming angry, or a public mistake, or failing an exam.

How can we heal the damage?

Reviewing and even re-scripting some aspects of our early childhood in therapy, can help bring these unmet needs into awareness.  Having your therapist ‘re-parent’ you, that is to speak to your “Vulnerable Child” in a kind, caring, but boundaried way, can soothe the Child, and lead to healing of the embedded emotions and beliefs.  You will also learn to develop your “Healthy Adult” and to use him or her to soothe your own Vulnerable Child, thus becoming your own parent.

It is likely that your (unnecessary) anxiety will be much reduced by this process.

For more on Schema Therapy and how it works, go to the Schema Therapy page on my website.   https://broadviewtalktherapy.com/schema-therapy/