Linking Early Attachment with Schema Therapy
You may have heard about Attachment Theory, developed in the 1950s by psychiatrist John Bowlby. This is the, now strongly evidence based, theory that babies and children are biologically predisposed to seek proximity to their parents or caregivers for safety and survival. We know that emotional connection with caregivers is vital both for healthy brain development, and the possibility of healthy relationships throughout life.We are programmed to do whatever it takes to ensure we get our needs met by our caregivers. In many cases, the ‘what it takes’ becomes the basis (Schemas and Attachment styles) which determine how we respond to and experience relationships, and our patterns of behaviour in relating to others for the rest of our lives, whether functional or dysfunctional.
Minimise the Impact You Have on Your Kids
What practical steps can you take to maximise your child’s mental health?Listen to them. Give them time to express themselves. Encourage expression of all feelings and help name the feeling, including anger. No emotion is ‘bad’ or ‘silly’. Take them seriously, and don’t laugh unless they want you to laugh. Don’t speak down to them. These things are so belittling for a child and as adults we have no idea of the damage this can do. Though actual memories of an individual event are most likely forgotten, the negative emotional response remains intact, outside awareness for a lifetime, and can be triggered easily when a similar relational situation arises.
Christmas Anxiety | Ann Booker, Schema Therapist, Chesham
When someone suggested I write a blog for Christmas to highlight how people can feel super lonely at this time of year, and the impact on their mental health, I got to thinking, but WHAT ABOUT HOW I AND MILLIONS OF OTHERS FEEL? (not to dismiss the plight of those who are alone).I’ve got nothing to complain about really, I’m not lonely; but there’s no doubt that Christmas has a super negative effect on me, and from what I gather, on many others too.
What is Schema Therapy all About?
Does a part of you believe that deep down any of the following is true?
~you struggle to trust people
~people will end up leaving you
~you will never by loved the way you want to be
~you've always been this way and can't change
~you quietly flounder in social situations, don't feel good enough or are doomed to fail
~you must keep working really really hard just to be good enoughIf any of these statements strike a chord, then Schema-Mode Therapy could work for you...
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