What is a Schema Therapy session like at Broadview Talk Therapy?

Welcome, take a seat. Let us build a bridge of trust and safety, feel a connection. I aim to be open and honest about who I am and how I work, to get to know you so we can, together, find the best way to get where you would like to be.

Please tell me what’s happening now, what’s going on that doesn’t feel right. That way we can look to see if we can put some practical strategies in place to moderate what you’re feeling and doing. I’m guessing if you’ve come to see me, you’re likely to be experiencing some anxiety and or depression…

Once we’re moving forward with the ‘surface work’ such as managing anxieties and worries, calming panic, and managing negative thoughts, we can take a peek into your past and your persistent life ‘patterns’ to see how they impact your present.

You can spill your ‘stuff’, as much or as little as you choose. Stuff you didn’t know was so heavy, or even that it was there at all. We will unpack it, inspect it, see your child-self through the eyes of your adult-self. Learn to nurture her or him, encourage and comfort her, appreciate and love him. You will begin the journey to becoming her “good parent”.

We are not blaming your parents for anything. Most parents do their best. And most parents unknowingly get at least some of it wrong. For example, too many or not enough boundaries, too much criticising, too often failing to connect and acknowledge you as you.

When you hear and feel the cruelty of your own demanding and/or critical parent-self which you have internalised over the years, I will help you to push them aside and to bring your good-parent-self to centre stage.

Out of the blue, it seems, you will likely have strong negative emotions emerging. I’m guessing this reminds you of something from the past? This is your ‘implicit memory’, made up of emotions and sensations, and a vague sense of something. Now your child-self or Vulnerable Child is present, you experience strong feelings from the past, which can often be disconnected from the originating events. This is when our Experiential work begins, we are no longer having an entirely ordinary conversation. I am helping you to be in contact with a specific part of you or mode, and we usually start with Vulnerable Child mode. My aim here is to speak directly with the Vulnerable Child as if I am your ‘good parent’. This is known as limited reparenting. The goal is to soothe your Vulnerable Child, who is struggling.

I will ask you if you’re okay to close your eyes and visualise being there, describe all you see, hear, smell, touch and even taste. I will ask questions and you will feel and describe your experience. The Imagery work will impact your implicit memory of something negative. We will rescript the memory in some positive way, for example, you will become empowered to stand up for yourself. This will subtly alter the way you feel.

A real example of this experiential work is a person whose mother died suddenly and unexpectedly when they were only eight years old. This person, now in mid-life, has had a successful life and coped very well in most aspects, but lived with a strong sense that something fundamental was missing in their life. They guessed it was about their mother but it didn’t feel as if it was, as there was no strong feeling of grief. There was a sense of wanting to cling to places and people in an unusually fierce way, and a great fear of loss.
At my suggestion, they created an image of being in a familiar and loved place, their mother and their eight-year-old self. In the image they had a conversation with their mother with the knowledge this would be the last time they met and spoke. They were able to say whatever they wanted, and to hear what they wanted to hear. The impact of this image, or visualisation, was so powerful that they wept tears they didn’t know they had in them and over the coming week, learned that it was a positive feeling to recall the image and feel the grief, that they can choose to recall the image whenever they wish and to experience the healing power of this grief. They stated that it was life-changing.

To read more about Schema Therapy follow this link: https://broadviewtalktherapy.com/schema-therapy/.