Yes, you guessed right, I have hair loss too.  Androgenic Alopecia to be exact, its hereditary.  It started in my twenties after my first baby.  The hair thinning has been a long and slow decline, but the mental suffering started early when someone very close to me, who was suffering with severe depression, made it about their suffering, telling me to do something about it.  I had no idea what to do!  The effect on my self-esteem and the shame was devastating.  That person is no longer in my life but the impact lingers.

There are many things I discovered, so many treatments which may or may not be effective, in my case I’ve found some treatments which do something, but can’t provide that gorgeous mop I was hoping for.

Of course there are a plethora of beautiful wigs, toppers and semi-permanent hair ‘systems’.  Then there are hair transplants.  All involve a lot of money, time and often pain and discomfort.  And sometimes there’s that feeling that the ‘hair’ might let you down in public.  An old friend greets you “You look lovely darling” as they run their hand through your hair and you suspect or even feel it slide sideways !!”

Wearing ‘helper hair’ can make one feel amazing, a dream come true, except there are times when you’re super aware it’s not growing from your head, especially on ‘bad hair days’.  For me that is when it is uncomfortable or insecure on my head, which is often.

A common problem is being confident in reacting to specific hair compliments.  I try to just say thank you.   I’ve had people ask where I get my hair done and I just give vague answers.  That sounds ok on the surface but that is when I feel like a fraud, I’m lying.  I’ve learned that when I tell people, and of course they are always supportive, I am bursting with happiness because I feel honest and genuine and I am ME.   Friends sometimes say, you’re so lucky to be able to just plonk your hair on each day and it looks good – no – no - no.   I would give anything to be able to sport my own hair covering my head, I don’t care if it’s nothing special.

From a mental health standpoint there is something about accepting this is where you are in your journey, this is you.  For those who haven’t yet arrived there, a course of therapy might be really helpful to explore and share exactly how you are feeling and all the ways it shows up in your life, and more importantly, how to manage it when it does!